i’ve been feeling pretty depressed these past couple of days to where i just dont know what to do. I’m in a situation where i keep questioning myself if I’m really happy in my relationship, whether its healthy, if the good outweigh the bad, and if i can ever forgive him for what he’s done to me. I was literally on the edge of breaking up with him but he kept saying “I’m changing. I love you. I want my future with you.”
When i heard that he was still trying to talk to an ex it literally just shattered my heart. is there something I’m not doing right? something I’m not giving him that he’s looking for in someone else? am i not pretty enough? I know I give him a hard time but its just gotten to the point where I dont know what he wants anymore. I know he has some sort of feelings towards me. I know this for sure. I just dont know if he’s fully invested in this as I am. Yes, I want to marry him and one day form a family with him (crazy that i feel like this already) but I dont want to live my life wondering what he’s doing behind my back. I dont want to have to be that insecure girlfriend worrying what he’ll do when he wants to go out. Most of my friends aren’t very fond of him. which sucks because when I need to vent i just hear the usual “you need to get rid of that trash”. I’m looking for answers because at this point, I’m confused.